So what if I would say that religion is nonsense? Would this sound offensive? Disrespectful to the millions or billions of fellow humans who walk the earth building churches, temples, synagogues and mosques? Would it be plain arrogant to all those good people who pray, donate to charity and follow the ten, twenty or hundred commandments? (depending to the complexity of their priests) Many will think so. Depending on where you stand when you say it, if you claim religion is nonsense, you might receive a variety of responses from getting arrested, stoned, excommunicated to simply get frowned upon, raise an eyebrow or two, distress your mother in law or get a couple of pitiful looks. In most cases around here, people might think you are an arrogant smartarse, or a stray pseudo-intellectual, seeking the attention you cannot otherwise get (because you are a godless loser and deeply depressed as a result).
I will not say this. Religion is not nonsense. Yet I will say that every religion is built on a fundamental “non-sense”, a fact which simply makes no sense under the most elementary laws of reality as we know and live it. This will be the meta-physical element, which is at the foundation of every religion. Meta-physical of course (and don’t start thinking about vampires and werewolves), simply because it is beyond the physics of this world. So to create a religion what you first need is a glorious, hilarious, impressively unnatural event, fact or story. Something that simply makes no sense, your founding nonsense. The more unnatural the better it would be for your religion. Let me give you an example of a beloved founding nonsense. Your teenage daughter walks in with a pair of puppy-eyes ( you know this kind “oops I did it again look) and requests your full attention. Then she declares with some hesitation that she thinks she is pregnant. And before you even realise the words you just heard, she swears that she has not had sex with anyone, but instead she had this funny dream of an angel touching her and telling her that in a few months she will give birth to the second Messia who will save the world. Period.
Now, honestly, wouldn’t you jump up and scream “Nonsense” at the top of your lungs ?
(Or would you better scream “He is not the Messiah, he is just a very naughty boy”, in eternal glory of Monty Pythons, amen).
At least I would scream nonsense! Noone would buy such a story...not even Sarah Palin, who I’m sure would love to believe this version of events, when she was confronted with the situation during the electoral campaign!
But what if this is not your teenage daughter speaking, but a well mannered tv-evangelist/a modest priest/ a selfless missionair, who will just narrate in the most charming language about the virgin who gave birth to this cool guy, who later grew up to walk on water, turn water to wine and do so many other amazing death-defying stunts? Would you then my dear friend shout “nonsense”? Well, a great number of people, educated, intelligent, modern, have actually already fallen for it, and have embraced it as a fact, a historical event, a great truth in life. Even those who remain sceptical, will hardly dare to whisper “nonsense”, at the fear of offending those who actually believe in it. So whether you believe it or not, you have to accept that every organised religion is based on a fundamental nonsense, a set of facts which simply make no sense and nothing in the world as we know it, indicates that such a thing is possible or has happened.
Of course, I respect the right of everyone to believe in his or her fundamental nonsense, as long as I have the right to point out nonsense when I see it, without this being considered an offensive, arrogant and insulting assault against their human rights, their personalities, their human dignity, the prophet, the holy mother(s), the sacred ancestors, the institution of the family, the Holy Cows, the traditional values, political correctness or whatever else one can find to be insulted with.
And of course I reserve the right to construct and believe in my own nonsense and in return I expect from others to respect my nonsense I call a religion and grant it tax-exempt status, cultural immunity, official holidays and allow for churches located on public land in cool place.
Thoughts like this actually gave birth to the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster (http://www.venganza.org). The “Pastafarians”, as these gentle believers are called, believe that the universe was created by a Flying Spaghetti Monster. They also believe that pirates were peaceful explorers, they are fond of beer and celebrate each Friday as religious holiday.
- “Nonsense”, I heard someone screaming!
Indeed, hilarious, ridiculous, insane nonsense, I can only agree. These guys can’t be serious, or? Well I think they are not! But then again tell me honestly what is more nonsense: A spaghetti monster, a virgin’s son walking on water, a guy who since 14 generations takes a new body everytime his old body dies (and I don’t mean Highlader the immortal), a guy who translates giberish with his head in a hat with the help of 2 stones or a well built bearded guy that throws thunders from a mountain peak and seduces peasant girls in the form of a bull? Now seriously, can you put all these stories objectively on a weigh and tell me which is not nonsense?
A nonsense remains a nonsense even if it is followed by millions. Five hundred years ago there were half a billion people who believed the earth was flat and only one who didn’t. Apparently, he was right. You see nature is not particular democratic. But nonsense has a powerful allure and it might be inevitable that we might all end up falling in our own nonsense. It might be the nonsense followed by the most, the nonsense most trendy, most convenient or familiar. It’s all cool, as long as you are free to chose your nonsense (and even change it for a better or trendier one from time to time). Welcome to organised, institutionalised, religion, or even worse, the Church.
As about me, I would like to believe in the charming, alluring and unfortunately as of yet unknown God of Alexis Zorbas.
(to be continued)
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